LIFE LESSONS: SHOW & PROVE!!!!!
So last week my word of the week was FAITH and my theme of the week was BE FEARLESS........ Honey let me tell you GOD made me SHOW and PROVE them both last week! (laughs).... Over the years I've battle with a fear of public speaking! Some of you that have met me probably won't believe this about me because I'm a people person and I love interacting with others. It's true I do love people but please believe me when I say this is a REAL ISSUE for me. Anybody that really knows me has seen the lengths I've went to just to prepare for any public speaking event. It's a stupid problem to have because I know what I've been called to do with my life.
I know that my spiritual gift is the power of words! My purpose in life is to encourage and inspire others to become the best version of themselves. My overall mission is to help others realize their potential and capitalize on their opportunities. I've literally asked myself, "If you know this to be true why is it so difficult to do what's required to fulfill it? I've audited myself often to figure out how I'm going to use my spiritual gifts if I'm being controlled by fear. So this year I made the decision that I was going to continuously put myself in uncomfortable situations to face my issues head on. I was to determined to conquer that initial feeling so that I could move forward with a spirit of service! So I've been signing up to volunteer and help in anyway I can especially at church. I want to be obedient to the Lord's Will but sometimes I pause because it requires responsibility and accountability. I had to literally OWN the fact that I had be sitting on my gifts and missing the mark before I could access the courage to move forward. So I declared that this week I would do something to overcome this fear.... Little did I know that I would get two calls that would force me to eat my words. (Laughs)
On Sunday I received a call from a beautiful young lady named Ty, she's a student and the NPHC President at my alma mater UTArlington. She was calling to extend an invitation for me to come out and serve as a facilitator for the NPHC retreat. I instantly said yes without hesitation; when it comes to helping the youth I'm always down for the cause. Then on Monday I received a call from Ms. Charlotte at church. Ms. Charlotte is the executive over ever ministry at my church. She asked me to meet her to discuss how I can render my services to the youth. After we talked she asked me to come out to Wednesday night bible study to speak to the kids for a little while. I agreed to come by and hangout with the kids. I felt good about my decisions until the next day. On Tuesday my nerves began to takeover my thoughts. All of the past anxiety started hitting me at once. I could hear that bad self-talk but I could also hear a small voice in the background saying, "You can do this. This is your calling. Use your spiritual gifts!" I began to tune-out that negative self-talk and turn up the volume of that small voice. I began to have a conversation with that small voice and soon enough it became the MAIN VOICE! I began to get affirmations but the crazy thing is I really BELIEVED them this time!
Wednesday bible study was my first challenge of the week. I went into the room with high hopes. The whole time I was waiting to be introduced I felt a little nervous. I was moving around in my seat, fixing my clothing, and rubbing my palms. You know the norm! Then I started thinking about what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. That was mistake number one. When Ms. Charolette finally introduced me I attempted to stand up but the back of my jeans got hooked on the chair...... Uhhhhhhh!!! (laughs) Side note I've been working out hard trying to get my two abs before summer '18 so none of my clothes fit....but that's besides the point. (laughs) Anywho! After I freed myself from the grips of the chair I started speaking to the students. A few sentences came out and I was like ok I'm almost done, I'm almost done, I'm almost done! (laughs) Once I was done speaking I felt a sense of relief. I thought to myself well SELF you rushed through that but you got through it. I was semi pleased with my little mediocre performance because it was a good starting point for what I would have to do on Friday. I knew I could do better so that's what I set out to do!
I was sort of dreading Friday because I knew I would have to teach a whole lesson. My carnal mind was actively creating escape plans while my spiritual mind was actively perfecting my lesson. Y'all I was in a full out tug of war match between the two! (Laughs)...... Just SAD!!!!! (sigh) I was forced to decide between the two! I asked myself are you going to agree with your carnal mind and RUNAWAY or are you going to elevate your SPIRITUAL MIND and GO FORWARD?... I thought about both outcomes and I decided that I just couldn't let all of those people down most importantly I couldn't let my FUTURE SELF DOWN!!! I thought about the BIGGER PURPOSE and I also thought about the personal mission I created for myself! I knew that if I kept running I would never overcome this stupid issue! So I created this bomb lesson plan, I had dope activities planned, and I just focused on making the experience fun and insightful for the students. Once I aligned my focus and properly prepared for the event I felt a sense of confidence. I knew exactly what I was going to do, how I was going to do it, and most importantly I knew what my INTENTIONS were.
When I arrived at the event I felt really good. I had butterflies but I could manage the feeling without being overly anxious. As soon as I walked into the room I instantly had a conversation with one of the professors at the university. She was literally giving me the game and unintentionally teaching me! After we finished speaking everyone gathered to do the joint icebreaker and mix & mingle activities. We moved on to breakout sessions and then it was time for me to teach my lesson. Before I went to my location for my session I could feel that negative self-talk trying to make its way to the forefront but I instantly SHUT- IT- DOWN!!! In that moment I refused to allow FEAR to be my SOURCE!!! I decided to drink from a Good Source. The "LIGHT" that lives inside of me continued to minister to me and those affirmations became words of DECLARATION..... Those words rolled off my tongue so smoothly I couldn't help but to BELIEVE IN MYSELF. So I spoke those words of encouragement and inspiration to myself the entire time I was setting up my room. I OWNED it, PRAYED about it, and then I GAVE it to GOD. Once those kids sat down I felt a sense of peace that I had never felt before. For the first time EVER, I didn't feel those butterflies, I didn't feel like I wanted to runaway, and I didn't feel afraid. I felt focused, determined, and intentional. I pushed through that presentation being my goofy, petty, silly self and it felt NATURAL to me! The students were engaged and they seemed as if they got some value from our conversation! I felt accomplished.
This past week taught me so much! I feel like I made a life changing turn in my life. I feel like I finally figured out the formula to this crazy equation. It's amazing what can happen when you allow yourself to FACE YOUR FEARS! That little slither of fear gives you the COURAGE to move forward if you allow it to. I had to realize that I don't have to be what everyone else THINKS I SHOULD BE just to leave a LASTING IMPACT..... I learned that I can simply be ME and leave an even BIGGER IMPACT..... So this past week gave me the lesson for this week that I had to share with y'all..... When you're able to identify your GOOD SOURCE and define your INTENTIONS you'll be able to ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING!!!! FOCUS on GOD and the GIFTS he's given you. LISTEN to the VOICE inside of you that speaks AFFIRMATIONS and drown out all of that negative self-talk. Understand that GOD gave you a MISSION and GIFTS, but he also gives you CHALLENGES to GROOM YOU! In order to reach a HIGHER UNDERSTANDING of your MISSION you have to overcome a few obstacles. The process is necessary so don't try to skip it that's were all the hidden JEWELS ARE!
This week I want you guys to challenge yourself. In doing that I want to you take the time to find out what your SOURCE is. When I say source I'm asking you..... What is your WHY? What pushes you? What drives you? What's fueling you? I want you to also determine where you're getting your energy from. Are you getting your energy internally or are your outsourcing? This week make sure you identify your source and be sure that it's a "GOOD SOURCE" alrighty y'all! Until next time stay FOCUSED, keep GRINDING, and RESPECT THE PROCESS. GO BE GREAT!!!!
Here's a tool to help you DEFINE YOUR SOURCE..... CLICK HERE